Today for the 4th Day of the Back to School Blog Hop, I wanted to revisit a blog that I wrote earlier in the year, when I was really just getting my feet wet with blogging.
I have always been one to beat myself up for not doing as well as I felt I needed to do. We are usually our own worst critic and this is so true when it comes to me with homeschooling. There have been many times I have questioned if I was making the right decisions, if I was doing enough, if my kids were learning enough and many times my benchmark for determining if I was adequate or not was to look at what my friends children were doing. Of course, their kids were not special needs but I more often than not overlooked this small fact. Had I compared my son to children the same age who were on the same point on the Autistic scale, I would have seen that my son was doing very well. But instead, I compared him to "normal" children his age and I was left feeling empty.
If you've ever felt this way (or maybe you'll read this and remember it before you do feel this way), I hope that my reposting this particular writing will help you to understand why you shouldn't compare your child (and yourself) to public school bechmarks or to your best friend's children.
I think there's a point for every
homeschool parent, especially one who is within the first year or two
of homeschooling their kids, when you begin to compare your kid's academic performance to where their public school peers are currently at.
It almost always happens along these
lines: maybe you meet up for a playdate (or maybe just a well deserved mommy date) with a friend who has a child around the same
age as your own in public schools; or maybe you're surfing around
facebook and your friend posts a picture of what their kid did at
school that day. Either way, it is brought to your attention that
their kid practically wrote the entire Gettysburg Address unassisted
while you're still trying to get your kid to stop putting crayons up
their nose and not eat the playdough.
What usually results is that we as homeschooling parents suddenly become achievement driven when it comes to what our children accomplish because we now feel we have to meet some specific timeline or else we are not providing an adequate education for our kids.
Moms, let me tell you. At these early
stages of teaching your children, DO NOT allow yourself to fall into
this trap.
It's so easy to sit there and look at
the benchmarks that are set out by each state that indicates what a
child should learn in each grade. Those benchmark lists are long and
detailed and any homeschool parent who looks at them is going to feel
inadequate. You mean you haven't taught your kids all that stuff??
Guess what? Neither has your local public school. Oh, they will
maybe mention it in passing in a text book or pass out a quick
handout but just because it's on the list of things the school says
they're teaching children doesn't necessarily mean the kids actually
receive enough instruction to actually learn about it. Benchmark
lists are highly misleading.
One of the wonderful things about
homeschooling is that as their teacher, we're able to delve into
subjects as deep as we want to with our kids. We're able to take as
much time as we feel is necessary to concentrate on the material
since we're not dictated by a guideline published by the state as to
how much time it should take to teach your child (a child that the
government officials who together decide what should be taught and
how has never met). Instead we're able to change our approach on
subjects when one particular approach doesn't work with our child.
This means that while a public school might quickly throw information
at a classroom full of children in the hopes that they might retain a
small percent of it, we are able to gauge how much our child actually
learns about the topic and adjust our teaching method as necessary.
It also means we can take that knowledge a lot deeper than just the
basic facts. When it comes to homeschooling, it really is “No
Child Left Behind”.
If I were to compare my son to my
friends son who is of the same age, I would probably be pretty
intimidated by the fact that their son is reading at a higher level
then my son is. At least, that is how it would look on the surface.
The difference is one child (the public school child) was forced to
memorize “sight words” in both kindergarten and first grade. When
those words are used in their reading, they read very well. However,
when they come to words a bit more difficult that were not on their
sight word list, they draw a blank. My son, however, is learning
phonics and blends rather than sight words route. He might not read
the sight words as well as my friend's child but when he comes to a
harder word he is able to sound out the word and eventually figure
the word out. As he continues to do this, his reading skill improves
and he'll eventually surpass his public school peers (and actually,
he's close to doing so). If I were to fall into the trap of comparing
their performance, I would probably quickly get discouraged and think
that my method was the wrong one and either switch to sight word
recognition to get him “caught up” or think my homeschooling was
a complete failure and put him in public schools.
The truth is that every child is
different. Even in a home with multiple children who are being
homeschooled, each child has their own individual learning style and
tempo. My son is a very visual and hands on type of learner who
excels at science and math. However, he is hates reading and tries to
cut corners by guessing a word (usually wrongly) in order to skip
actually reading. My daughter, however, loves reading and is reading
on a much higher level then her peers. However, she dislikes math and
tends to cut corners with it. Both children are the same grade and
are taught the same things in the same manner but because they are
individuals who think and act differently, they excel at different
things. Using the same example of my son and my friends son, if I
were to compare my son to his sister, his sister would be well ahead
of him in reading, even though they were taught the same way. The
difference between my educating my kids and the public school system
educating my children, however, is that I know my son is struggling
with reading and can work with him until he gets it where as many
times, children are indeed left behind and are graduating high school
practically illiterate.
California High School Exit Exam
My teenage daughter took the California
High School Exit Examination (CAHSEE) test this month. She attends
public schools because that's what her father demanded so I wasn't
able to homeschool her. Currently, she is in 10th grade.
Before a student graduates from high school, they are given 8
opportunities to pass the CAHSEE test so they can earn a diploma. I
was curious as to why a high school exit exam would be given in 10th
grade, when 2.5 more years of school instruction are needed before
graduation. Here's what I found about the CAHSEE test on their
website:
"The primary purpose of the CAHSEE is to make sure that students who graduate from high school can show that they are performing at grade level on California’s content standards. The content standards on the CAHSEE include reading, writing, and mathematics. Standards describe what students should know and be able to do at each grade level from kindergarten through grade twelve."
"The primary purpose of the CAHSEE is to make sure that students who graduate from high school can show that they are performing at grade level on California’s content standards. The content standards on the CAHSEE include reading, writing, and mathematics. Standards describe what students should know and be able to do at each grade level from kindergarten through grade twelve."
The
next thing that caught my eye was this:
"The
exam consists of two parts. The first part includes English–language
arts (reading and writing) content standards through grade ten. The
other part of the CAHSEE addresses California’s mathematics content
standards in grades six and seven."
This
means that the requirements to graduate high school is 7th
grade math.
As
a homeschool parent, I plan on teaching my kids math concepts well
beyond those taught in 6th
and 7th
grade. This also means that basically everything your child needs to
know about math in order to graduate from high school (at least in
the State of California) is learned by 7th
grade making high school instruction in mathematics unnecessary.
However, in February 2013 when the test was administered to to grades
10-12th
only 73% passed the math portion. Even more disappointing was that
only 69% of those students passed the English/Reading Portion. Don't forget, they have 8 tries to pass the test before they graduate and many end up taking it 8 times and still do not pass.
In truth, this
is what you're comparing yourself to..
Don't you agree you can do so much better than that in the longrun?
Just Stop
Slow it down and take your time, even
if it takes much longer than what the benchmark guidelines per grade
dictate. Your kids will eventually get it if you are diligent and
work with them; it doesn't matter if it takes 2 months or 2 years as
long as they get it.
Only one more day of the Back to Homeschool Blog Hop but there's still lots of great information to be had. If you haven't already, be sure to check out some of the participating blogs. Here's a few suggestions for today :)
Meg @ Adventures with Jude
Dawn @ Double O Farms
DaLynn @ For the Display of His Splendor
Monique @ Mountain of Grace Homeschooling
Steph @ Indy Homeschool
Kym @ Homeschool Coffee Break
Tawnee @ Adventures in homeschooling
Lisa @ Tales of a Homeschool Family
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