Goals

Did you make a resolution for 2016??  Nearly everyone does, whether it's to lose weight, workout more, drink less.  Everyone has such good intentions on December 31st.  When January 1st rolls around, they hit the ground running to meet that resolution.  The first day goes by well, maybe even the 2nd day.. On January 3rd, they might slip up to their old ways and they get a bit discouraged. By January 5th, all resolute has gone out the window and things are back to the way they were and you're left feeling like a true failure, telling yourself you can't do anything and that you will always be fat/flabby/weak/ect.   Then, when December 31st rolls around, we make those same resolutions again, swearing THIS will be the year it happens, only to have the same thing happen.

I don't make Resolutions.  I find them to be almost as destructive to our psyche as the actual behavior, maybe even more so, because you're left feeling much more defeated for having not met those restrictions we've placed on ourselves then we felt not trying.

Resolution derived from the word resolute, which by it's definition is part of the problem right there.

res·o·lute

ˈrezəˌlo͞ot/

adjective

1. admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering.

We cannot expect to be "unwavering" and "determined" all the time.  We are human, we make mistakes and we shouldn't beat ourselves up when we do.  But for some reason, we do that when it comes to resolutions. We often time feel like a failure, like we can't accomplish what we set out to do so what is the point.   And so, I stopped making them altogether.

Instead, I make goals. 

Goals are an end result that is obtainable. It doesn't make a difference how you get there or even how long it took you to get there. The point is you work towards meeting that goal and eventually you cross that finish line.  You might fall down a few times, you might skin your knees and your palms when you do, but you pic yourself back up and you keep going.  You don't focus on the setbacks and the mistakes, you focus on what is at the end waiting.    

Yeah, sure, it's the same thing as a resolution when you get down to it, but it's a much more positive way of accomplishing it, allowing for the mistakes without the self guilty and self defeat that one feels for not adhering to the resolution.

For 2016, I decided to set seven goals for myself, each with the hopes that by changing my behavior I can become a much more positive person.

The sad thing is when you realize that person is you.

I am going to be honest, I am a Negative Nellie.  There, I admit it.  Believe me when I tell you, that is a very hard thing for me to admit. I like to say that I am a happy person, that I am friendly to everyone and I try to avoid drama. Truth is, I am lying to myself.

I am a miserable person. I don't know if it's because of living 5 years in this desert, out in the middle of no where, around people who are just as miserable as I am but I find that I have become a very negative, depressed, miserable person.  I have very little energy or want to do much of anything.  All friends that I had on this base have moved away and I don't have any desire to make new ones. Not that anyone would want to be friends with someone who is as negative as I am.  As a result, the only other adult I see each week besides my husband is the UPS man.

I want to change that.  So here are my goals for 2016 to work toward in order to change that.

1.)  Cut Down on my Spending -  One might not think this would impact my negativity. But even thought I get a temporary satisfaction in getting a box from Amazon, we are almost always living paycheck to paycheck.  By curbing my spending, that will allow for more money to do other things with, especially family outings.

2.  Clean Up My Language - I'm going to make another confession, although this one isn't as hard for

me to admit as the one prior.  I have a potty mouth. I have always had a potty mouth.  I'm good at watching my language around people whom I know such foul language would make uncomfortable but the truth is I curse like a sailor.  Gordon Ramsey and I could have one heck of a conversation, to be sure.  I've always had a foul mouth, stemming from a father who was a Marine and had just as colorful of a vocabulary as I have now.     My goal for this year is to STOP using such foul language. I want to live a life that is pleasing to God and  I know that the words that come out of my mouth are NOT praising him in any way and only contributes to my ugly attitude in general.   Plus, my kids are quickly developing a colorful vocabulary and honestly, I would like to break the cycle.   While I'm not about to let anyone wash my mouth out with soap, I have instructed my kiddos to tell me to watch my language when they hear me using bad words.

3. Spend More Time With God -  I know that much of what I want to correct with myself, I am not going to be able to do alone. I also know that I want to live a life that reflects what Christ taught us to

live. However, I cannot do either of these things without the help and guidance of our Lord.  This seems very cliche', I know, however, I know it's the truth.  Here's the deal - I went to Church all my childhood and teenage years. I was involved with the choir (the real one, not a children's choir), I was baptized, I was a member of youth leadership.  But the truth is, I haven't the first clue about being a Christian.  We were always told if you accepted Christ as your savior, then you were saved and that was that.  Nothing else.  Obviously, this isn't true and there's much more required from me than just a simple prayer said one day at a youth conference. This is new territory for me. But I know enough to know that I have to approach the Lord with a humbled heart and ask for his help to make the changes in me that I know he wants to see.  This means more reading my Bible, more prayer, more Worship music: all which will help to influence my mind and my heart to make the changes I need to make. Eventually, I would like to find a Church and build my spiritual family but for now I'm enjoying reading/listening to lessons on iDisciple and other websites as well as listening to Bible Studies and Sermons from Mark Gungor as well as other worship leaders that I enjoy.

4.  Get Organized - How would getting organized help my negative attitude?  Well, clutter and messiness makes you miserable.  While my home is not a pigsty with rotten food and garbage everywhere, it is cluttered.  We're a family of 5 living in a house built for 4 and as such, there's really no room for everything.  It's time for us to start decluttering, deep cleaning and working towards keeping it that way once it's done.   A clean, bright environment helps towards having a bright and clean outlook.  I want to add more ways to store and organize stuff (beyond just throwing it on bookshelves or on the couch) as well as add houseplants and pretty curtains so I can keep the windows open on sunny days. (I have lived here 5 years and still don't have curtains on the windows!)..

5. Spend More Time With My Family -  It's time for me to disconnect.  Facebook have become too

much of a distraction for all of us.  We're all buried in our Kindles, computers and phones.  Ten years from now, not a single one of us will remember what happened on Facebook, but we will remember the trip we took to the farm or the camping trip to the Sequoias.   This year, I want to do much more things with the family, making memories that will last a lifetime.   Camping at Yosemite, the tidepools at Leo Carrillo state park, hiking at the Vasquez rocks and more letterboxing adventures.  There really is so much to see and do here in Cali and in 5 years, we've done very little of it. I want to change that.  I want to get out of the house more for 2016 and make memories. I want to fill this blog weekly with beautiful pictures of the amazing adventures that we go on as a family so that you can see all of our smiling faces.  And all that money I save in step 1 will help to allow that.   I also want to spend more time playing at the park, playing board games, reading and just spending quality time in the home with my family as well.

6.  Communicate More With My Husband More - I addressed this want/need in my Word for 2016 post and it's still a major goal for 2016.  But I want this to be positive conversation.

Which leads into goal #7

7. Stop Being So Negative - I tend to use my husband as a sounding board for all the reasons I'm miserable here, telling him about the latest drama going on in the Base facebook groups,  or complaining about politics.  I want to stop complaining - I want my words to be uplifting and positive. I want my husband to look forward to conversing with me when he gets home from a long day of work, not dread what I'm going to be complaining about as soon as he walks in the door.   I want my personality to be bright and cherry, so that people will enjoy my company and seek it out rather than avoid it because I bring them down.

There you have it. My goals for 2016.  Sure, I want to lose weight and work out more but you know what? If I can meet the 7 goals that are above, I have a feeling all the other things I wish to do will follow suit in their own time.  And I hope that as God helps to make these changes in my life, that that new positive outlook will reflect to this blog as well .