Embrace (Five Minute Friday)

Wow, another week has come and gone.  It's been busy busy here at the Prince Household and I've dropped the ball the last couple of weeks on getting around to my 5 Minute Friday post but I had a few minutes (Five to be exact  haha) to write this week.

  If you're unfamiliar with FMF, each week a word is given and you spend 5 minutes (no more than that) interpreting the word as it means to you.  It's hosted by Kate at the blog Heading Home. Each week, Kate invites other bloggers to reflect and write for five minutes on a word for that week. 

If your interested in joining up, by all means, click on the graphic below and join in the fun.

This week's word is Embrace.

Embracing can have so many meanings.. A hug, a touch, a caress.  We think of lovers, of friends, of our children.  But when is the last time you embraced yourself?

It's hard to love ourselves.  We see our faults, we know the wrongs that we have done, even if those around us do not.  I've struggled long and hard to love myself for who I am.  Years ago I couldn't fathem loving myself, until that one day, when I realized that no matter what I've said or done, no matter who I may have wronged in my life, or who may have wronged me and left those emotional scares on me and left me damaged, that there's been one who has embraced me and kept me close to their hearts every single day of my life.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.  

Jeremiah 1:5

My Lord has embraced me ever single day that I have walked this earth, even before.  He knows every hurt, every fault in my character, every mistake I have made.  And yet, he still embraces me and holds me close. 

When I turned my back on him, thinking my way was the better way, he was still there in the wings, waiting patiently, even if it hurt him to do so, allowing me to find my way back to him. And when I finally managed, he led me to that green pasture, to those still waters.  

If Jesus can embrace me, though everything, then I need to learn to embrace myself. I need to be like him, learning to love myself and to accept the fact there are things that I cannot change but to instead love myself like he loves me. 

Abandon (Five Minute Friday)

It's Friday. That means it's time for another Five Minute Friday.  If you're unfamiliar with FMF, each week a word is given and you spend 5 minutes (no more than that) interpreting the word as it means to you.  It's hosted by Kate at the blog Heading Home. Each week, Kate invites other bloggers to reflect and write for five minutes on a word for that week. 

If your interested in joining up, by all means, click on the graphic below and join in the fun.

This week's word is Abandon.  What a strong word, huh??

I'm starting my timer now, so here we go.

What does Abandon mean to one? Well, it can mean different things to different people. Maybe to one person it means to toss all the cares of the world away and enjoy ones self.  Or maybe it means to be left alone?

For me, it means being left alone in a scary world, having your family turning their back on you because to them, you represent betrayal and pain caused my another family member.  It means that you weren't the cause of that pain, but only a visual reminder that they didn't want around them anymore.  It means tossing an innocent child out on the streets, not caring if they sink or swim, if maybe their name will be in the headlines of the local paper a week from now because they were found dead because that would mean one would never have to deal with that person again.

I was abandoned like this many, MANY years ago.  I was fortunate that a family took me in, fed me, kept a shelter over my head when my own family wouldn't.  But, nearly 22 years later, I still feel the damage that being abandoned the way I did had on me.  I'm insecure, always afraid that my friends will turn on me, that one day I will find myself alone and betrayed by those who I depend on.

End

Middle (Five Minute Friday)

I'm so happy to see that even with the New Year, the Five Minute Friday linkup is still going.  (Now if I can just find someone starting up the 52 Lists for this year, I'll be happy)..   If your not familiar with the Five Minute Friday linkup, it's hosted by Kate at the blog Heading Home. Each week, Kate invites other bloggers to reflect and write for five minutes on a word for that week.

If your interested in joining up, by all means, click on the graphic below and join in the fun.

This week, the word given was "Middle"..  My five minutes starts NOW!!


The word middle makes me think of a number of things, but the one thing that comes to mind is "Middle Aged", which is where I am now.   And when I look back on my life and where I am in it, I realize that it went faster than I think it should have and I really didn't accomplish nearly the amount of things I wanted to achieve before I reached this point in my life.

It hasn't been all bad, for sure.  But I had dreams of accomplishing huge things, flying airplanes and making a comfortable living for myself and fill a passport with foreign travel.  Even now, we struggle from time to time, living paycheck to paycheck.. We only have the one car (hopefully we will finally have two in a few months), on paycheck, we live in government owned housing (We're military living on base LOL) ..  One would think we would have at least bought a house by now! LOL

But, it's okay, because, it's called "Middle Aged" for a reason. It means there's still time for me to achieve things - I could go to school tomorrow and start studying to become a doctor.. I could get my pilots license and soar high above the earth..  I still have time to travel to Scotland and Ireland  And eventually, Charles will be out of the military and we will have a home of our own or maybe we'll buy one of those "little houses" that we can pull behind a pickup truck and have a new view every day.

STOP!!

Five Minute Friday - Eat

Eating.. It's something we all have to do to live.  But man, it's something I hate to love.

I love to eat. I honestly do. There's something to be said about a nice greasy cheeseburger or a platter of spicy crawfish.  Food is something that brings people together.

However, when your overweight, it's not something fun anymore.  We eat healthy and rarely go out, but when we do go out, I always feel like I'm being watched and criticized.   Like if I do eat a burger (which maybe happens once a month if that), people are laughing and thinking I should be eating a salad.

What they don't know is I suffer from an eating disorder.. I'm almost 42 years old now, and from the time I was 17 years old, I bearly ate 500 calories a day. Because of that, my metabolism has shut down.  My doctors told me to gradually bring my caloric intake up to 1200, I'm lucky even today if I get over 800 calories.

 It's 2pm right now, the kids have had lunch and I've only had 2 cups of coffee, no creamer.. And I still don't want to eat..

I wish people didn't worry so much about what other people are eating and would stop assuming that the burger I might eat once a month contributed to how I look when there's so many other factors at play.

STOP


Head on over to Five Minute Friday to see what other bloggers have written based on the word "Eat".